A
Friend’s Correction
We have heard a lot
of discussion so far in the book of Job, haven’t we? We have seen the enemy
swoop down and bring swift destruction into a godly man’s life. We have heard
him go from praising God to absolute bitterness and accusations of the Almighty
God. We have seen the many words of Job’s friend Bildad, some wise words and
some not so wise. The discussions have been lengthy. Many of the words that
have been spoken would have surely been better left unsaid, amen? Oh but the
foolishness of man compared to the wisdom and ways of God - who can fully know
His ways? Who can understand His wisdom?
In this chapter,
another friend of Job decides it is his turn to speak up and give his thoughts
concerning the situation. We must remember that by now Job’s trial had gone on
for months. Job has gone from bad to worse in his attitude toward life, the
trial and toward the God he had known, loved and worshiped for so long. Now
perceiving all this, Zophar decides it is his turn to give some counsel to his
longtime friend. We will see similarities in what he says to that of Bildad’s
words. There are errors, and there are good words of wisdom that need to befall
this desperate man’s ears. Let’s see what the Lord shows us all today as we
dive into this heavy conversation, ok?
Zophar is saying
that Job has been talking foolish and that it is his (and their) responsibility
as his friends to warn him about the way he is approaching the Lord. That is
certainly a good thing, right? After all, the Bible tells us to warn a sinning
brother…
1 Thessalonians
5:14
Now we exhort you, brethren, warn those who are unruly,
comfort the fainthearted, uphold the weak, be patient with all.
Galatians 6:1
Brethren, if a man
is overtaken in any trespass, you who are
spiritual restore such a one in a spirit
of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted.
Was Job overtaken
in sin at this point? You bet he was! He had gone from praising God to giving
place to the devil by accusing God and even denying God’s presence and asking
the Lord to leave him alone. He was taking on the thinking of the devil in his
misery – playing right into his hands.
In a previous
conversation we wondered how quickly might Job had been relieved of his
infirmities (weaknesses) if he had maintained an attitude of praise rather than
sinking into devilish complaining and accusations. In the scriptures above we
see the Bible clearly telling us that when a brother is sinning we should warn
them. I wonder if Christians took this more seriously how many could be held back
from making the tremendous errors that people make when they get into difficult
situations. The thing is, when we are in a position to call someone to repent,
we have to be so careful about how we do it.
While it is
biblical to correct a person who is sinning, if it is within our scope of
responsibility in a given situation, we must be ever so careful in how we
administer that correction. It must be led by the Holy Spirit. Just today I had
to speak to a very close and dear friend about a situation that had rubbed
another Christian the wrong way. It was brought to my attention and I was the
only one who could speak to her. It had to be done with love and compassion. It
had to be clear and straight to the point. It could not be led by my flesh and
I had to be very specific.
When we are
correcting someone, we should open with warm and positive statements. We can
then get to the point of the correction, again, in a spirit of love, not
judgment or condemnation. Then we must close with love and positive reinforcement.
The problem too many times is that when people see that someone needs
correction, they take it upon themselves to play the role of Judge and sentencer.
This must not be. We have all blown it! Each of us has sinned and each of us
has needed correction. We have to be sure according to the Lord that it really
is our specific responsibility to correct that person. If we are sticking our
nose in where it does not belong, then we are getting ourselves into trouble
there too. Look at this…
Matthew 18:15
“Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him
alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother.
The best place to
begin is to take the matter directly to the person who has sinned against you.
Many times folks are too afraid to approach and confront someone. They don’t
want to rock the boat or cause more trouble than has already been stirred up.
But the problem with that is, leaving an issue unresolved will not make it go
away. In fact it will continue to worsen until it gets so far out of hand that
it brings consequences far worse than it would have been if it had been dealt
with correctly in the first place. It eventually causes others to sin by
witnessing it and adding in their comments and perceptions of what they think
the problem is. They start talking about what they know little to nothing
about, and now you have a handful of people who are caught in sin by getting
involved in a matter that is not their business.
Confrontation is
never easy. I have struggled with that plenty in my life. But the un-dealt with
problems only seemed to grow like a wild fire burning out of control. And when
I would get someone else involved, I was really not helping things by going to
someone else about something someone was doing to me, rather than approaching
them directly. As grown up Christians, we must all learn to handle the issues
of daily life like grown up people, not like a group of first graders on the
playground. There are a lot of babies walking around in 50, 60 and even 90 year
old bodies. But as children of God we are called to wake up, grow up and become
wise in the affairs of this life while we are here.
Philippians 3:12-16
Not that I have already
attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that
for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me. Brethren, I do not count
myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching
forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward
the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.
Therefore let us, as
many as are mature, have this mind; and if in anything you think otherwise, God
will reveal even this to you. Nevertheless, to the degree that we have already
attained, let us walk by the same rule, let us be of the same mind.
Paul was running the race of this life to attain perfection and
maturity as a follower of the Master. He encourages us all to become mature. We
have to learn how to help others who are sinning, but it has to be done in a
spirit of love. Otherwise we get into sin and wind up in the same pit the other
person is in. We all need correction, and frequently I might add. Anyone who is
not willing to be corrected is a person who is not willing to become Christ-like.
Just yesterday in church I was coming out of a busy and mostly fun filled
weekend. I had been out of town visiting family and friends. Returning home and
getting back to church was my heart’s delight. As we worshiped the Lord in our
opening songs I was delighting in the Lord and enjoying being in His presence
with all the saints.
But the minute our pastor Phyllis took the podium, she spoke some
words that the Lord had just brought to her during the worship. She said the
Lord was sad. Why was He sad? Because there were several people in the
congregation and watching online who were making it close to their
breakthroughs, and then falling back into old ways. Right away I knew that the
Holy Spirit was talking to me. I had been so close to my final (bottom line final)
weight goal and slipped back into too much eating over the weekend.
To some it may not seem like much, but to the Lord and to me it is
a big thing. Many of you know my past history with food addiction issues. I
have had to walk a fine line to remain abstinent from old patterns. And most of
the time I do so well and I get so close to hitting the final number that I know
will greatly please the Lord and me.
However, I have allowed that ‘closeness’ to the goal become an
excuse to have a ‘little extra’ to eat when I really needed to be watching and
praying to avoid the temptations. So the Lord used my pastor to let me know
yesterday that this was making Him sad. My heart was broken to hear this. I was
thankful that the Lord used someone to speak those words to correct me. I took
it to heart and got right down to business immediately to correct what I was
doing. I am so thankful for correction when it comes. How about you?
Let’s look at what was happening to Job. He was going down and
down and down into a deep dark pit. If nobody spoke to him, if they had just
turned and walked away leaving him to wallow in his pool of misery, what then?
How long would he have survived with the devil taunting his thoughts every
moment? Who could he depend on to speak words of sense and encouragement to him
if not his closest friends? God uses people to correct us. He also speaks to us
directly through Holy Spirit. As we discussed previously, He will even use a
donkey if he has to. The Lord wants to get our attention. He wants us to repent
and get right with Him. He does not want to turn and just leave us at the hand
of the wicked enemy. The Lord can send help through all kinds of methods. The
question is, will we listen.
Zophar had spoken rightly when he said what he did to Job – at
least part of it. The problem comes in when he starts determining how much God
should have punished him, see verse 6. Is it Zophar’s place to know what level
of punishment Job should get? Hardly. That is the Lord’s job alone. And Zophar
does not know all the details here – just like Bildad didn’t. Even Job is not
ware of everything that was going on in this situation. They were all virtually
clueless about why this terrible assault on Job had happened at this point; yet
they were all making these assumptions and accusations. That’s where the
problem came in. This put all of them on the side of error. Have you ever done
that? I know I have. We get into a situation with somebody and it seems the
more we talk the worse it gets. But here is what we need to remember…
Proverbs 6:2
You are
snared by the words of your mouth; you are taken by the words of your mouth.
Proverbs 10:19
In the
multitude of words sin is not lacking, but he who
restrains his lips is wise.
And here’s another question to think about. Whose
glory are we seeking when we go on and on with our words? Let’s look at a
conversation Jesus was having with the Jews about what He was telling them…
John 7:16-18
Jesus answered
them and said, “My doctrine is not Mine, but His who sent Me. If
anyone wills to do His will, he shall know concerning the doctrine, whether it
is from God or whether I
speak on My own authority. He
who speaks from himself seeks his own glory; but He who seeks the glory of the
One who sent Him is true, and no unrighteousness is in Him.
When we start ‘running off at the mouth’, we are getting into
dangerous territory. We are to speak as we are led by Holy Spirit - not to try
and show someone how much we know or understand. Even when we are giving
someone as answer, we can be brief and to the point. Zophar would be doing no
harm in advising Job to just get right with the Lord, seek Him and find out
what wisdom he needed for his situation. After that, what more could he say
really? At that point, it is up to the person we are talking with to take the
next step of action, whatever that may be. Whether we are correcting someone or
giving someone some information, we need to learn to ‘reign in’ our words. I
will be the first to raise my hand in this conversation on that one. Too many
times I have gotten excited and carried away with my words when I could have
said so much less. I became ensnared by my words and then I had to repent when
at first I was innocent.
To correct someone is one thing, but to go on and on is quite
another. In verse 13 Zophar tells Job to get right with God. In the remaining
verses up through 19, he tells Job about the benefits of living right in God’s
eyes. Don’t you suppose Job already knew something about that? We end with a
note that reminds us that the evil man will never prosper. I think Job knew a
thing or two about that also, don’t you?
In summary, a true friend will let a sinning friend know when they
are off the path, but they will do it in a spirit of love, looking for the best
in their friend. If someone gets into making a person feel ashamed of
themselves, or like they are being judged and condemned then there becomes
another problem altogether. My friends, let us all learn to walk in love toward
our fellow man and be a blessing and an encouragement to each other. When we
see someone sinning, let’s not forget that we have all been there at one time
or another. And because we have been
given such a huge portion of grace from God ourselves, we must also dish out
the same. Freely we have received – freely we must give, amen?
Proverbs 11:25
The generous soul will be made rich, and he who waters will
also be watered himself.
Questions:
What was Zophar
trying to say to Job?
What things did
Zophar say that were good advice to Job?
What things did Zophar say that maybe should have been left unsaid?
What is the best thing to do when you have an issue with a brother
or sister in the Lord?
Is there anything that you need to deal with right now to make
things right between you and a fellow Christian?
For
“He who would love life and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from
evil, and his lips from speaking deceit. Let him turn away from evil and do
good; let him seek peace and pursue it.
For
the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and His
ears are open to
their prayers; but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”
There
are three main points to consider from today’s study…
When someone is sinning, we must be very careful in how we approach the
situation
Our words must be limited and to the point
It is our job to encourage others and build them up – never to condemn
or judge
Heavenly
Father,
Thank
You for showing me in Your word how to correct someone who is caught in a sin.
Lord, help me to know when to speak and when to keep silent in each situation.
I will purpose to listen to You and be led by You as You help me to say and do
the right thing at the right time. Father I ask You to forgive me for anything
I have said or done that is out of line. Show me what I need to see Lord. Help
me to be an encouragement to others, always blessing and never cursing or judging
them. In Jesus name. Amen!
Who has the Lord been dealing with you to talk
to?
And God Said… You fill in the blanks.
1 Corinthians 9:22
To
the weak I became as weak, that I might win the weak.
I
have become all things to all men,
that
I might by all means save some.
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