Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Job 5 - Seeking God

Eliphaz Continues Speaking
Yesterday we saw that Eliphaz was sent by the Lord to give a word very much in season to Job – amen?! Today he continues talking and what he says makes nothing but perfect sense. It is as if God Himself was speaking here. And we know that it was in fact Him. Let’s first summarize what Eliphaz was telling his sorrowful friend. He asked Job who he would turn to. Would there be a man or even angels who could help him, really? Or what about foolish men? Surely they can’t help. After all, look at what happens to them.

In reality the fact is that man is born to trouble as certainly as the flames of a fire stretch themselves toward the heavens. Even Jesus said it, so we know it is true…

John 16:33

These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.”
So what is a man to do in this case? Eliphaz gave the answer as it came straight from the heart of God. Seek God! The only possible way a man can find his way out of trouble is to seek the Lord while He may be found – hallelujah!

Isaiah 55:6

Seek the Lord while He may be found, call upon Him while He is near.

He tells us in the following verses (8-23) about the marvelous things that the Lord does. Everything we need from rain and things we don’t even know to search for; yes, blessings without number. Glory to God! That sounds like a pretty good deal doesn’t it? After all, if I am born into trouble, why wouldn’t I want to seek something or someone who can bring me up out of that trouble? Wouldn’t any sensible person think this way? But not all do, do they? There are many hard hearted and foolish people in the earth who want nothing to do with God. They are indeed the foolish ones and we already looked at what happens to them in this chapter, haven’t we?

But God takes those who are low and sets them on high. Saints, I know this from experience. How you ask? Look at my testimony these past two days. I was as low as a person could get. One breath or two from passing away, there was just nothing left for me. I lost all my relationships, my belongings and my reputation. I lost hope and despaired of living. I thought death was the only option. And I wasn’t just trying to get someone’s attention when I attempted that suicide. I fully expected to die and didn’t want to face anyone in this life ever again. I had certainly taken enough pills to do the job but God would not allow it! I was so ashamed of myself. That was low friends; really low.

But wait. This chapter says to seek the Lord while He may be found. Well when He wouldn’t even let me die I was left with one of two choices. I could continue to run away from Him and try to do life my way; or, I could seek after Him with everything in me and find out what He really had to offer. I chose to seek Him – hallelujah! I was poor (spiritually) and I was weak (emotionally); at the bottom of the wrung. When I decided to seek Him I started going to church. No matter what town I was in at the moment, I went to church. I would just find one near me and go. I didn’t have a Bible at that time. But someone had given me a book while I was homeless and I read it from cover to cover.

The title of that book was ‘The Purpose Driven Life’ by Rick Warren. As I read it I began to see things about my life I had never even imagined. I began to understand that in God’s eyes I really did have a purpose (in Him) that I never knew in all those years of raising my daughters in church! I saw that God created me – He was the one who actually put me together in my mama’s womb. Then I saw the fact that He did it with a purpose in mind. This began to transform my thinking. I was determined to know more about God now than ever. I had not known Him as much as I used to think I did, but now my life was so desperate I thought it had to be good to seek Him.

I knew I was a simple minded woman. I was not wise and crafty in my own eyes. I used to think I was quite unintelligent really. I couldn’t make quick comebacks to people’s snide remarks or be quick to come up with a sick joke like others around me could. I thought I was lacking in all kinds of areas and certainly didn’t acclaim to know much. Well this chapter confirms what happens to those who do (think they are ‘all that’) and it is not a good thing. So humility is always the best place to start and there to remain. Exalting God and seeking Him is the best place to be at every turn in life as I was soon to discover.

In our chapter today Eliphaz said that the Lord saves the poor and gives the poor hope. I was so poor in spirit. I was fatherless. My dad had abandoned all of us when my parents divorced to marry another woman and raise her two boys. This left us without the most important parental role that every child needs in their life.

A dad is supposed to teach the child all the things about life and godliness so they can grow up and make great decisions using wisdom and practical teaching from the Bible to guide their path every step of the way. But that would not be the case for me and my siblings. While dad chose to serve himself (Yes, I have forgiven him) and leave us all behind, we had to go on in this crazy mixed up world and try to figure out how to survive the best we could. Some of us did better than others, but each of the five children in my family had a host of issues stemming from the poor parenting examples we had been exposed to. Finding myself back in the world after the hospital I had to take it one day at a time. But I was so determined to find the Lord that this was what kept me going forward even though the circumstances I was in were still very, very difficult.

I didn’t have any money to speak of but I began to tithe. That had started one day when I saw the 700 Club on TV when I was homeless and staying in that motel room. I walked across the street to give them the only $20 I had in my possession. It was money that someone from the church had given me. Right after that the husband had some fines to pay and we certainly couldn’t afford them but the Lord provided every penny of it. I saw the miracle and I was quite amazed. I began to see other miracles on my journey in my quest to find God. I would need a ride and suddenly someone would show up and just be available at just the right time.
When we talked yesterday I told you about the great church I went to where I saw my sins as they were and went home and repented. 

From that time forward as I began to understand how prayer works, I began to get bold and just ask God for what I needed. And He would answer and provide what I had asked Him for. I continued to be amazed at His wonderful kindness. It seems the miraculous signs and wonders were all around me. I was convinced if I told anyone about the things He was doing they would call me crazy. Well that’s OK. I know what I saw. I was there. Nobody could ever tell me it was anything but the amazing power and grace of God.

I found out in that time period that seeking God was paying off. By the time I had surrendered to Him in October of 2005, I had been seeking Him for about 11 months. So I didn’t really find Him instantly. I actually had to show Him I was serious about finding Him. And He saw my heart. He saw that even though I was in the toughest of situations I had ever been in I wasn’t going to let that stop me from seeking Him. I just kept tithing and I kept going to church.

I was like a walking sponge. I had my ears open and my mouth shut as I watched, listened and learned about the things of God. And the more I was experiencing with Him, the more I saw Him doing miraculous things that could only be from Him, and the more in awe of Him I became. So when October 1, 2005 rolled around and I dropped to my knees to ask for His help, He quickly came to my rescue – hallelujah!

Jeremiah 29:13

And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.

Matthew 7:7

“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.

And as I did the seeking I kept on receiving more and more revelation from Him. We all start with a measure of faith…

Romans 12:3

For I say, through the grace given to me, to everyone who is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think soberly, as God has dealt to each one a measure of faith.

I had to use the faith I had and build on that. I had to put my faith to work. One day of seeking God and then going back to what you were doing before that will not cut it. What I had been given was so good – I could see that. Now I wanted more. When I got more I would respond to the Lord with a desire for even more…

Matthew 13:12

For whoever has, to him more will be given, and he will have abundance; but whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken away from him.

Like any good thing a person might receive, if they discover it is really good they are going to want more. Well, now I was getting more and more of God and the more I got the more I wanted. It was a perpetual state of increase – abundance. It was and is so rich and wonderful. I never want to stop experiencing more of Him, how about you?

As I walked with the Lord further into a life of full devotion I learned that He would chasten me. Here is what the Webster’s 1828 dictionary says about chastening;

1. To correct by punishment; to punish; to inflict pain for the purpose of reclaiming an offender; as, to chasten a son with a rod.
I will chasten him with the rod of men. 2 Samuel 7:14.
2. To afflict by other means.
As many as I love I rebuke and chasten   Revelation 3:19.
3. To purify from errors or faults.
I found out that the Lord will not hold back on correction when we need it. I needed a lot of correction in my thinking and I needed to break off old habits and relationships that were harmful to me. This has taken a lot of submission and that has not been easy as most of you know all too well. But where would we be without the loving care and correction of our Lord? So many folks in the Christian world today say this quite often, “God loves us just the way we are.” Says who? He loves us but He certainly does not like all our dysfunctional and sinful behavior. That is why He provides both a rod and a staff to guide us through our lives. We need His love and we need His correction so we won’t stay the way we are…
Psalm 23:4
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
As we walk through this life with death all around us and evil at every turn, we don’t ever have to be afraid. He is with us. And His rod corrects us when we need it as His staff continually guides through each day. Aren’t we so grateful saints? Our heavenly Father has so much good in mind for us, but we have to want it. It is that simple. He will not ever force His ways on us. We must seek Him willingly, diligently, as one going after a pearl of greatest treasure…
Matthew 13:45
 “Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant seeking beautiful pearls, who, when he had found one pearl of great price, went and sold all that he had and bought it.
I was seeking the Lord so fervently, just as if I was on the trail of some priceless gem and I wouldn’t stop until I found it. It was the greatest treasure hunt of all, and lo, He led me each step. Can you imagine how much it pleases the Father and Jesus to see someone going after Him with their face set like flint? Do we not believe that He will give us the desire of our heart?
Isaiah 50:7

“For the Lord God will help Me; therefore I will not be disgraced; therefore I have set My face like a flint, and I know that I will not be ashamed.

He is faithful. He will not let the righteous be left begging. We never have to beg God. He will reveal Himself to the ones who truly want Him. To those who don’t He is known as the God who hides Himself.

Isaiah 8:17

And I will wait on the Lord, who hides His face from the house of Jacob; and I will hope in Him.

To the man or woman who says there is no God, He will be hidden from their sight. He will not manifest His glory and throw that which is holy to the dogs. God will only reveal Himself to those who are truly seeking Him. I would find this out in that 11 month period of seeking Him. The more I received the hungrier for Him I became. And He didn’t let me down. He never would either.

He is faithful – hallelujah! I believe my heart’s greatest desire in this life second to spending time with the Lord on a personal level is to encourage others to seek Him. I know how awesome He is, at least from where I stand today. I know that more will be revealed to me as I go deeper in my walk with Him. And God is not slack on His promises. He will take us as deep as we are willing to go. I want to be in over my head. How about you?

Next in our chapter (Verse 19 – 22) we see the Lord as a Deliverer and a Provider. Oh saints, He is truly everything we need in every situation. He delivers us from trouble, from famine, from the battles we face when the arrows are flying rapidly in our direction…

Psalm 91:5

You shall not be afraid of the terror by night, nor of the arrow that flies by day,

He will hide us from the harmful words that come against us. When I was walking out of that pit I had thrown myself into, there were plenty of painful scourges coming my way. Lots of folks had plenty of bad things to say about me. The dirt was flying at me from a thousand different directions it seemed. But while I was down in the pit and the accusers began throwing in their dirt, I decided to take Jesus hand and let Him help me walk out of that pit.

Like the donkey who had fallen into a pit so deep the people knew they couldn’t get him out, so they decided to bury him alive and put him out of his misery. As they began to shovel the dirt into the pit to close up the hole, the donkey would step up on the next heap of dirt that landed at the bottom. With each painful shovelful of dirt, the donkey continued to step on top of the pile. Eventually, he stepped right up to the ground level and he walked away, a free donkey – hallelujah!

Friends, Jesus cannot pull us out of the pit unless we want to come out. And it is up to us to take the steps to get out of it. No matter why you landed in your pit, it has to be your choice (and mine) to walk out of it. And when I decided that death was obviously not an option for me, I made a decision to walk out of my pit. And every step I took Jesus had my hand. He showed me so much love along the way.

You can hear Him saying, “That’s it. Come on honey. I am here. I will help you. Don’t stop. I know it is rough. I never wanted this for you. But don’t give up. There will be great reward for you if you do not faint. Keep going, yes, that’s it.” Just yesterday the Lord showed me something about the cat Ezekiel that He had sent for me while I was living in the marriage from hell. You remember I told you how Ezekiel had been brought by my daughter. I told you about the painful scene when I had to let him go. He had been so extra loving and special toward me.
I had never seen an animal do the things he did. He would love on me and crawl up on my chest and give me sweet kisses on my ear. His little hugs were almost human like. 

And the morning I was letting him go before coming to Florida, the look he gave and the final hug seemed far beyond what any normal cat would do. Well, just yesterday as my husband and I discussed this event, the Lord spoke to my heart and said, “Hanny, when he was loving on you like that; it was Me. I was doing that through him.” This caused me to cry even more as I looked back at how the Lord had used this precious little fur ball to give me His love in a tangible way. That was one of the rewards He had given me for seeking Him like I was. He is such a good God – hallelujah! 

As we move on in the chapter, the Lord is showing us that He will cause us to live in peaceful dwellings. He would cause us to live in harmony with the animals and people in our midst. When I came to Florida, it was a completely different atmosphere than the suburbs of Detroit where I had lived the majority of my life. Florida was peaceful. It was almost too calm for this city girl with a country heart. I had been used to life in the fast lane for so many years that it took several years for me to come down to the new pace I would one day embrace with great joy.

I never knew that life could be this peaceful. The skies seemed bluer here. The gentle breezes from the gulf combined with the breathtaking sunsets came together to form a peaceful balm over my heart each day. People here walk slower and talk slower. They are not in quite as big a hurry as they are up north. Now when I travel back to Detroit to visit my children and grandchildren, the atmosphere and all the chaos are almost overwhelming to me. I look forward to seeing them but I am always so glad to get back to what is now my home; sunny and peaceful southwest Florida – praise the Lord!

We end the chapter with some more great promises from our great God. He promises us that our seed will be great and will multiply. Well, I am not having any more kids, (LOL!) but I am planting seeds into the kingdom of heaven on a regular basis – glory to His name forever. As a result, I am expecting and receiving great multiplication of that seed. I know my children and grandchildren will be blessed. In fact we are so blessed that even the blessed call us blessed! Praise God! He is so good to us when we seek Him with all our hearts. We are promised that we will live to a ripe old age. Isn’t that great news? And we can bear fruit like wildfire in our old age…

Psalm 92:12-15

The righteous shall flourish like a palm tree, he shall grow like a cedar in Lebanon.
Those who are planted in the house of the Lord shall flourish in the courts of our God.
They shall still bear fruit in old age; they shall be fresh and flourishing, to declare that the Lord is upright; He is my rock, and there is no unrighteousness in Him.


I have to give God the glory. At the age of 60 I have never been healthier, felt better or had more energy! I can run around the lake with my sweet puppy and do what the Lord calls me to do. I am excited about so many things that are coming – we stay in a constant state of excitement and expectation for what the Lord is and will do. Denny & I are rejoicing in God our Savior – me and my wonderful godly husband whose sweetness cannot be compared to any other on the planet. The Lord has blessed us and the bars of our gates. He has blessed our comings and goings. He blesses me every step of the way. Yes, I have to brag on Him every chance I get because He deserves all the glory, all the honor and all the praise for ever. How about you? What are you excited about? As the chapter closes, Eliphaz tells his friend Job that they had searched out these good things about God. He was telling Job to hear it, know it and believe it for his own good. Will you take that wonderful advice as well?

What was Eliphaz’s first point of advice to Job?

What was the point he was trying to make in the next several verses? (9-27)
What was Eliphaz’s last point of advice to Job?
Are you seeking God with all your heart? If not, what is stopping you?

Luke 6:20-23

Then He lifted up His eyes toward His disciples, and said:
“Blessed are you poor,
    for yours is the kingdom of God.
Blessed are you who hunger now,
    for you shall be filled.
Blessed are you who weep now,
    for you shall laugh.
Blessed are you when men hate you,
    and when they exclude you,
    and revile you, and cast out your name as evil,
    For the Son of Man’s sake.
Rejoice in that day and leap for joy!
    For indeed your reward is great in heaven,
    for in like manner their fathers did to the prophets.
Matthew 7:11
If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!

There are three main points to consider from today’s study…

Man is born to trouble – but Jesus has overcome the world
The best decision we can ever make is to seek God with all our heart
When we seek Him, we will find Him, and He will fill our lives with good things

Heavenly Father,
Thank You for revealing Yourself to those who seek after you with their whole heart! Thank You for revealing Yourself in greater measure to me as I walk deeper and deeper into a life of full devotion with You. Thank You for helping me to walk out of every pit I have ever been in to a life full of prosperity and great fruit. You are the Almighty God and You have done great things for me. Holy is Your name! Father, I ask You to use my life as a living testimony of Your goodness to the sons of men. Bring glory to Yourself in me each and every day and give me opportunities to tell others how great You are in Jesus name. Amen! 

Will you seek Him with your whole heart? 

And God Said… You fill in the blanks.

 1 Peter 1:3-5

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,
who according to His abundant mercy has begotten us again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 
to an inheritance incorruptible and undefiled and that does not fade away,
reserved in heaven for you, who are kept by the power of God through faith for salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.

Job 4 - Eliphaz Speaking

Eliphaz Speaks
In our chapter yesterday Job was the first to speak to the friends who had come to comfort him after seven long days of total silence. This would begin what we will see as a long series of discussions about the things of God and the issues of life. Today, after listening to Job speak, Eliphaz decides it is his turn to make comments in response to Job’s despairing words. He asks Job if he can speak without making him angry, because he couldn’t help but to speak up. Later we will understand why this man had to pipe up at this time.

Eliphaz starts off by recounting the fact that Job had been a man who had helped and encouraged many people when they were struggling. He had instructed others, strengthened them, upheld those who were falling and strengthened those who had trouble standing in their situations. And now here he was, the one who was weary, weak and falling into despair. It’s as if Eliphaz is saying, “But Job, I don’t understand. You have been such a strength and support to others. How is it that now when trouble comes your way you are in so much despair? Don’t you practice what you preach?” Ouch! Can you imagine the sting of those words in this man’s situation? He has been dealt a serious blow from the enemy and had lost his precious children, and here comes his buddy asking him why he is fainting in the day of adversity. But there would be more of a purpose in his words than we know at this point, so stay tuned.

Like we said yesterday, most of the time when we go to the side of a person in a state of mourning like this our best words are the unspoken words of love – only that which can be brought through a warm hug and a comforting glance. The eyes can say a whole lot more than the lips. But that was not to be the case here. Job’s pal was going to start preaching to him things that would only add salt to his gaping wounds. In one sense, the things he says are certainly true. But the timing for this conversation seems to be quite off. It has only been a week since all this has happened. Again, there would prove to be a purpose even though the words seemed cold and unfeeling.

Eliphaz goes on to remind his friend that Job’s fear of God and righteous living should be all he needs to withstand this trial. And again, there is great truth in what he was saying. But did he really need to say that now? Later we will find out why he said what he said.
He tells Job another thing we can be quite certain this man of God knew well - that the righteous folks are never cut off by calamity while the evil doers most certainly are brought low by the blast of God. Sounds like he is preaching to the choir, doesn’t it?

During the night Eliphaz had seen a spirit that frightened him terribly. The spirit has a profound message to convey to him and now he would relate this to his troubled friend. As Eliphaz had listened to the voice of his visitor he was asked a series of questions about the justice and purity of God verses that of a mere mortal man. He pointed out that even the angels fall short of God’s level of glory. And that being the case, how much less the human being who lives in a temporary dwelling in his flesh and in his house that is made of clay and sits upon the dust.  That was a powerful visit, wasn’t it? What was the Lord doing? What Eliphaz had to convey was obviously a message from the Him.

No evil spirit would talk about the lowliness of man compared to the greatness of God. Sometimes people do need to hear a word of correction in their theology and the Lord can use anyone He chooses to bring His message. This was the role of prophets. Even though Job had lost so much, he needed to ‘get a grip’ and he needed to get it fast. He had gone from praising to pitying, himself that is. And the Lord knew that he needed a an attitude adjustment that would help him put things into perspective. The Lord was not going to sit idly by and leave Job without the help he would need. And He knew the whole story about this entire deal while Job knew just about nothing.

 And God could see that Job needed help before his despair overtook him and his life would take a turn for the worse. Sometimes the Lord is coming to our aid faster than we realize but we don’t stop long enough to recognize it. Sort of like the guy whose house was being engulfed by the flood. The Lord sent the boat, but he didn’t realize that it was help from heaven. In yesterday’s study I gave you a testimony of what I called ‘the storm of the century’ in my life. It was beyond devastating to me. After I left the hospital following my failed suicide attempt, I had to make a choice.

I could choose to sit down and cry and look at how bad things were. I could just give up on trying any more. I could have said, “Oh woe is me, I can’t even kill myself to escape this situation.” If that would have happened I feel quite certain that I would not have made it out of that mess alive. Eventually I would have died, either from the drugs or from a deadly accident or a heart attack.

But I made a different choice. I started by getting all my records together so I could claim bankruptcy because I was over $78,000 in debt by then. It was spring of 2004 and I was staring at an apartment with nobody to help me. The husband and I had parted temporarily. I needed to get the financial matters straightened out.

And I needed a job. So I picked myself up each day and decided I was going to do my best for that day. Just one day at a time. I took a job as a waitress, far below the income I had become so comfortable with in the insurance world. I went to work and I came home. Lonely and sad, I just kept moving.

I took care of the business at hand each day. The husband came back three weeks later and then we moved back to northern Michigan where we were now homeless again and without work. Whenever he made a rash decision I was still in such a desperate state in my own mind that I just went along with him even though he wasn’t making good choices. We even had to ask for state assistance to get food and temporary shelter. I became very ill and was bedridden for a couple of weeks. 

Once I recovered I found another job in a restaurant as a hostess. I was given bathroom duty so now I looked at myself in the mirror and saw a licensed and gifted insurance agent scrubbing toilets and cleaning off tables. I wasn’t even making tips until they finally decided to promote me to a waitress. One day I picked up a newspaper that caught my eye on a bench in the restaurant. There was an ad for a motel manager. It would provide a salary and a free place to live. I decided it was the answer I needed. I went and applied and was hired. Don’t let the title of the job fool you. This was a little 12 room motel in northern Michigan and it was the busy season for tourism. It was in a very nice part or northwestern Michigan and there was a lot of money in the area. People enjoyed going there for the boating, skiing, shopping and sightseeing.

During the day I had to clean 12 rooms to the owner’s strict specifications and check people in. After I got done with all that cleaning and laundry, I would go over to a restaurant near the water and work in a restaurant until about 1:00 in the morning serving food and cocktails. My husband stayed back at the hotel and checked people in and took a lot of painkillers to keep himself numb from all the junk he was dealing with. Talk about a mess!

We ended up losing that job after a few months and were homeless again. I had started going to a church in the area and met some lovely people. They helped us to get a motel room for about three weeks and brought us food. I could really see the love of God coming through these people and I did not feel I deserved anything good at the time. In fact I felt like I deserved to suffer because of all the bad choices I had made. I had started going to church because by the end of 2004 I said I had to get back to God. And now I was going to search for Him until I found Him.

In early 2005 we moved back to the Detroit area and found a job as storage facility managers. I could work in an office again and that thrilled me. It was so refreshing to be around a computer and printers and paperwork once again. We were given free housing and even medical benefits.

But every day continued to be a painful struggle with this husband I had. He had a lot of issues and so did I and we were never supposed to have been together in the first place. As badly as I wanted out I believed that I had made my bed and that I must lay in it.

It would be another year and a half before I would finally walk away from that mess for good – praise God. During those many months I continued to seek the Lord. I went to church every week. The Lord kept sending people across my path to speak to me. It was amazing. It always seemed to be exactly what I needed to hear when I needed to hear it. I did not know the Lord and the way He works well enough to know how He uses people to speak to us. It was the summer of 2005 as I worked in that storage facility that the Lord sent a person across my path who suggested I go check out a certain church located just down the street.

I had been going to this little church down the road but I just wasn’t getting much out of the teachings. The people were lovely, but I wasn’t getting fed like I needed to at that moment. My spirit knew that far more than my head did. So this gal who happened to be my manager came by the office one day and suggested I go to Northridge Church just down the road a piece from where I had been going, I decided to go check it out one Sunday.

It was a very large church and had a balcony. It must have sat about 2,000 people or more. By now I was back in communication with my daughters and that was bringing great joy to my heart. They even drove across town on my 50th birthday in December that year to take me out to eat. They knew I was still a mess but were kind enough to share some moments with me. At that point I would take any crumb that someone would throw my way. I felt so unworthy of anybody’s love. And that unworthiness had started long before I ever stepped into that storm. It had traveled with me since childhood.

I was still determined to get my life back to some form of normal even though I was still sleeping with the enemy. Every day was a major battle and left me completely drained emotionally. I walked into the sanctuary of that great big church by myself. The greeters at the door were warm and friendly. I liked the atmosphere. There was positive energy there. I could sense a lot of kindness. I didn’t feel odd or out of place. I just felt so alone. Back then I was still living by what I felt (bad idea!) and so my days were led more by those feelings than by the Holy Spirit. I wasn’t even sure about the presence of the Holy Spirit in my life at that point.

I found a seat in the back of the sanctuary and sat down. They had dimmed the lights for worship so I felt secure thinking nobody would see the flood of tears streaming down my cheeks. I listened to Pastor Brad for the first time and I was captivated by what he was saying. This was a non-denominational church. Pastor Brad believed in preaching the word and he used a lot of scriptures. And he used to teach a series at a time, focusing on one major topic at a time lasting for several weeks.

During the first few months I heard a series about the Ten Commandments. I had never heard anyone teach on them so I was eager to hear it. Little did I know it would be the thing that God would use to turn me around. (Radically!) If anyone thinks the Ten Commandments don’t change lives anymore they have another thing coming. I am a witness! After the Second Commandment I ran home and repented, and everything changed as I have mentioned previously. Then I started wanting to learn everything I could about God and what concerns Him. The Lord began to help me connect with people in the church. I had met a lady who taught the Sunday school class I was attending. She was so nice and I thought she must be a very godly woman from the way she spoke.

One day I called her for advice about the marriage I was in. She gave me the exact thing that I believe the Lord wanted me to hear – but I did not head her advice. Still afraid of being alone I neglected her advice and once again reunited with this husband from hell. Keep in mind it wasn’t the person, it was the enemy working in him that caused so much grief!  I thought it was the only right thing to do. I had made my bed so I might just as well lay in it. He would only go with me to church on occasion. By now we had lost the job at the storage facility due to a lack of new sales, and had to move again. We went to a small apartment on the other side of town so I could be near my girls. That was light in the darkness for me. God is so gracious to us when we are down.

The church assigned a one on one mentor. I have mentioned her before. The Lord used her mightily to speak to me, teach and pray with me. I love her dearly. She is still a close friend today. As we moved into 2006 things were coming to a head again with the hellacious hubby and I was ready to snap again. I didn’t know how I could possibly go on living like this. The Lord showed me a verse in the Bible that said my own decisions had brought this upon me and now I was living in the consequences. That really stung but it was 100% true.

Did I need to hear it? Of course I did. No matter how much I was suffering I needed to hear the truth. We ended up moving back to northern Michigan and I lost what little we had accumulated. As long as I was with that man I just kept losing, losing, losing. It never seemed to stop going sour. There was no light at the end of the tunnel I walked with him nor would there ever be.
As he continued to make poor choices with what little money we had and created another situation where we were now homeless again, I had to make a decision once and for all. My sister began calling and asking me to come to Florida, even if I had to bring him. And she hated him.

But the Lord was speaking through my sister and she wasn’t even walking with God. God can speak through anyone.  By now I had fallen deeply in love with Jesus and knew enough about prayer and faith that I could call on Him and He would answer me. The past many months I had spent countless hours alone in my bedroom with Him reading the Bible and other books about the Lord that were just the right ones for that time. I would cry my heart out and pray and hear Him and see what He was saying to me in His word. I was receiving a lot of correction, but I was also receiving a lot of love – love like I have never known. God was speaking to me and after all those years of raising my children in a denominational church I finally knew what it was like to hear God speak to my heart through Holy Spirit and through His word. He was showing me signs and wonders and keeping me in that constant state of awe like I said in yesterday’s study. I plan to remain in that state for eternity, how about you?

I told you also how I came to Florida at the Lord’s direction. He kept sending people across my path to say just the right thing at just the right moment. The things I would hear would not always be warm and fuzzy. When I got connected with a biblical counselor from church at the time, she agreed to counsel and help me. And she was tough. She minced no words and I had to ‘buck up’ and listen to what the Lord was saying to me through her if I ever hoped to really get my life straightened out. I have to say I was surprised that the Lord had me give so much of my testimony in this study but I can see now that He wants us all to see that He is always speaking to us. Sometimes it is through circumstances. Others it is through people – some who are actual prophets and others who are clueless about the things of God. But if He can use a donkey to speak, He can certainly pick any human that will serve His purpose and get His message across.

Numbers 22:22-40

Then God’s anger was aroused because he went, and the Angel of the Lord took His stand in the way as an adversary against him. And he was riding on his donkey, and his two servants were with him. Now the donkey saw the Angel of the Lord standing in the way with His drawn sword in His hand, and the donkey turned aside out of the way and went into the field. So Balaam struck the donkey to turn her back onto the road.  Then the Angel of the Lord stood in a narrow path between the vineyards, with a wall on this side and a wall on that side. And when the donkey saw the Angel of the Lord, she pushed herself against the wall and crushed Balaam’s foot against the wall; so he struck her again. Then the Angel of the Lord went further, and stood in a narrow place where there was no way to turn either to the right hand or to the left. And when the donkey saw the Angel of the Lord, she lay down under Balaam; so Balaam’s anger was aroused, and he struck the donkey with his staff.
Then the Lord opened the mouth of the donkey, and she said to Balaam, “What have I done to you, that you have struck me these three times?”
And Balaam said to the donkey, “Because you have abused me. I wish there were a sword in my hand, for now I would kill you!”
So the donkey said to Balaam, “Am I not your donkey on which you have ridden, ever since I became yours, to this day? Was I ever disposed to do this to you?”
And he said, “No.”
Then the Lord opened Balaam’s eyes, and he saw the Angel of the Lord standing in the way with His drawn sword in His hand; and he bowed his head and fell flat on his face. And the Angel of the Lord said to him, “Why have you struck your donkey these three times? Behold, I have come out to stand against you, because your way is perverse before Me.  The donkey saw Me and turned aside from Me these three times. If she had not turned aside from Me, surely I would also have killed you by now, and let her live.”
And Balaam said to the Angel of the Lord, “I have sinned, for I did not know You stood in the way against me. Now therefore, if it displeases You, I will turn back.”
Then the Angel of the Lord said to Balaam, “Go with the men, but only the word that I speak to you, that you shall speak.” So Balaam went with the princes of Balak.
Now when Balak heard that Balaam was coming, he went out to meet him at the city of Moab, which is on the border at the Arnon, the boundary of the territory. Then Balak said to Balaam, “Did I not earnestly send to you, calling for you? Why did you not come to me? Am I not able to honor you?”
And Balaam said to Balak, “Look, I have come to you! Now, have I any power at all to say anything? The word that God puts in my mouth, that I must speak.” So Balaam went with Balak, and they came to Kirjath Huzoth. Then Balak offered oxen and sheep, and he sent some to Balaam and to the princes who were with him.
Not only did the Lord cause the donkey to speak to his master, but He commanded Baalam to speak to Baalak only the words that the Lord would put in His mouth. Though the Lord never controls people, He will speak through them to get things done. He is so mighty and powerful and we must never underestimate this. When Eliphaz sat with Job and opened his mouth to speak we can see that he spoke a lot of truth. “Why are you in despair Job? Aren’t you the one others turn to when they are having a tough time? So why now do you not trust in your God who has been your hope and your strength all this time? Why are you moaning and having a pity party when you know God is bigger than all this? And what makes you think you have it all right anyway?” Can’t you just hear it saints?

It’s true that Job went through an evil onslaught of devilsh attacks, but when he turned his praising into groaning, he was treading on dangerous ground. And the Lord wanted to help him to ‘get a grip’ and get it quick. What we will see in the chapters to come will be a progressive back and forth conversation between these men. They will discuss the things of God and the things of life as it pertains to Him. We will see God speaking through each one of them in one way or another. It will be exciting to see what our dear Lord wants to extract from those conversations for us, won’t it?

In my ‘storm of a century’ the Lord spoke to me through many people, songs, billboards, signs on cars and trucks; just about anything you can think of. He showed me signs in the heavens and it was as if He was all around me saying, “Hey, look at Me. I am right here. I am with You. I am for you. I am all around you. I am everything you need, always and forever. I am speaking to you. Listen to me. I will not leave you high and dry like everyone else in your life has. I will be with you at all times. I will comfort you. I will feed you with honey from the rock. I will give you bread from heaven and satisfy your longing soul with goodness. You might be hurting right now but I have great plans for you on the other side of this. If you will stick with Me and trust Me I will bring you into a broad place and fill your life with good things. You can cry on my shoulder and I will dry your tears. When you seek Me you will find Me. When you are lonely I will be there for you, a faithful friend. When you don’t know what to do, I will show you the way.”

I would hear a song with these words, “There’s a light at the end of this tunnel shining bright at the end of this tunnel for you.” And I would see things that only God could pull off. Things that were meant just for me. Miraculous signs. He was ‘showing Himself in big ways for me’ big time! It was glorious! Praise His name forever! But I had to keep paying attention. I had to stay tuned into the ‘right frequency’ like a radio station so I could pick up all His signals. And the more signal I picked up the stronger my ‘wave length’ became.

I could hold my head up a little higher. I could walk with a little more confidence (in Him) and I could see further out than I could ever see before. I suddenly had hope like I never had in my entire life and I was excited about living. I was excited about the future. I got connected with a lot of people from the churches in southwest Florida and began many wonderful relationships as the Lord has continued to teach me and grow me up in Him.

One time we were at a ‘soaking’ meeting. What is that you ask? Well, it was a gathering of a bunch of us saints at a church house where we would put on soft music and just sit quietly before the Lord. We were learning how to hear from Him in greater measure. We would just get comfortable and close our eyes and think about Him while the music played softly in the background.

As I lay there I fought off the usual distractions that try to come so I could really focus on Jesus. All of a sudden a vision appeared in my mind. It was like I was watching a movie on the screens of the backs of my eyelids. It was so clear. It was a girl standing in a bathroom looking at the mirror. Then the vision disappeared. I asked the Lord what that was about. His response was this, “That was you when you wanted to die. Look at you know.” I burst into immediate tears. By the time this had happened the Lord had done so much for me and brought me so much restoration I could only cry in humble adoration of the one true God that loves me this much. I was beginning to really understand how valuable I was to Him. It made my heart leap with overflowing joy and love. Oh hallelujah saints! What an awesome God we have.
What has God been trying to say to you lately? Have you been paying attention? Have you been quiet enough to hear His voice? 

Even in the midst of what seems like our most difficult moments we may have to hear a word of correction. But those whom He loves, He chastens. We will study more on that in the coming chapters. He knows exactly what we need to hear and when we need to hear it. The question is, will we be humble enough to accept what He is saying even when it is coming through a person and not take offense?

Some people are given the gift of prophesy and will be used to speak to us a word from God when He sees fit. I have had several of these types of encounters. And then there is the office of a prophet. That is quite different than the gift of prophesy. Look at Isaiah, Ezekiel and Jeremiah for example. They were in the office of a prophet and they were used by the Lord to speak to and influence nations, not just individual people, though He could use them to speak to individuals also. Look also at Nathan, the prophet whom the Lord used to bring correction to David after his affair with Bathsheba. 

And God can even use animals to speak to us. Near the end of that trial back in 2005 the Lord used my daughter to bring me a cat. She didn’t know it but I had been asking the Lord for a cat. I needed something to comfort me that I could love on in return and I knew a cat would be cheap to care for and low maintenance overall. One day my oldest daughter called and said she wanted to bring me a kitten. I didn’t know if the husband would allow it but I told her to come on over.

She brought two adorable little fur balls. One was white and the other orange. I chose the orange stripped kitty. There was something very special about him. Then my daughter spoke and said, “I already named him for you. His name is Ezekiel, from the Bible.” I almost fell on the floor when I heard that! God was speaking to her and through her and she really didn’t know or understand what was going on. Nor did I at that point. This cat and I bonded so much. It was as if we were one. I loved him dearly and I knew he loved me. 

It was a very unique relationship. He was so sweet and lovable – just what I needed. The Lord is so good. When I had to leave to come to Florida I knew I had to leave Ezekiel behind. I would be staying at my sister’s house and I couldn’t bring him along. It was breaking my heart. The day I let him go I was staying in my car outside the apartment I had vacated recently. I was waiting to meet people the next day and make preparations to leave for Florida. 

I didn’t want to take my sweet kitty to the shelter for fear that they would put him to sleep. He had a collar so anyone who found him would know he had been taken care of. I asked God to help with him and I prepared to release him into the morning air to go and find his new home. Before I let him go I stood in that empty apartment (I had climbed in through an open window to escape the cold night air and use the restroom) and looked down at him as the tears streamed down my cheeks. He stood there looking up at me with a very special look in his eyes. It was as if he was saying, “Pick me up mama. I want to give you a hug before I leave.”

I picked him up and he clung to me so tightly. I stood there rocking back and forth and just cried and cried. I would miss my sweet baby but I had to let him go. It seems letting go of things was becoming a new way of life for me and it was terribly painful. I set him down and opened the apartment door. I placed his food and litter box inside the little patio just outside the door. Slowly he walked away until he was completely out of sight. I sobbed and sobbed as I said good bye to my little companion.  


Later there would be words from the book of Ezekiel that God would bring alive to me as He called me to evangelize, spurring me on to win souls. It was then that I realized the meaning of the name Ezekiel. How awesome He is! Everything He does has a purpose. 

What were Eliphaz’s opening words to Job?

What did Eliphaz hear from the spirit he saw in the night?
What was God trying to say to Job through his friend?
What has the Lord been trying to say to you lately? Have you been willing to receive it and act upon it?
Matthew 28:20b

and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”

Romans 8:31b

If God is for us, who can be against us?

Psalm 81:13

Oh, that My people would listen to Me, that Israel would walk in My ways!

Deuteronomy 31:8

And the Lord, He is the One who goes before you. He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear nor be dismayed.”

Isaiah 66:13a
As one whom his mother comforts, so I will comfort you;

Psalm 81:16

He would have fed them also with the finest of wheat;
And with honey from the rock I would have satisfied you.”

John 6:51a

I am the living bread which came down from heaven.

Psalm 107:9

 For He satisfies the longing soul, and fills the hungry soul with goodness.

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Jeremiah 39:18

For I will surely deliver you, and you shall not fall by the sword; but your life shall be as a prize to you, because you have put your trust in Me,” says the Lord.’”

2 Samuel 22:20

He also brought me out into a broad place; He delivered me because He delighted in me.

Luke 1:53

He has filled the hungry with good things, and the rich He has sent away empty.

Revelation 7:17

And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes.”

Jeremiah 29:13a

And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart. 
I will be found by you, says the Lord,
  
John 15:15a

No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing;
but I have called you friends,

Jeremiah 33:3

 ‘Call to Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know.’

There are three main points to consider from today’s study…
God will speak to us in many ways and through many avenues
We have to hear the hard stuff even in the midst of trials
God is always with us even during the worst of storms

Heavenly Father,
Thank You for loving me the way only You can. Lord thank You for the many ways You reach out to speak to me every day, just the right word at just the right time. Father, I ask You to help me to be clear on what You have been trying to say to me lately. I ask You to forgive me if I have not been taking the time to pay enough attention to Your voice. Show me what I need to see Lord for such a time as this and I will purpose in my heart to listen more with Your help. In Jesus name! Amen! J

Will you look and listen for what God is trying to say to you?

And God Said… You fill in the blanks.

Zephaniah 3:16-20
In that day it shall be said to Jerusalem:
“Do not fear;
Zion, let not your hands be weak.
The Lord your God in your midst,
The Mighty One, will save;
He will rejoice over you with gladness,
He will quiet you with His love,
He will rejoice over you with singing.”
“I will gather those who sorrow over the appointed assembly,
Who are among you,
To whom its reproach is a burden.
Behold, at that time
I will deal with all who afflict you;
I will save the lame,
And gather those who were driven out;
I will appoint them for praise and fame
In every land where they were put to shame.
At that time I will bring you back,
Even at the time I gather you;
For I will give you fame and praise
Among all the peoples of the earth,
When I return your captives before your eyes,”
Says the Lord.